fuchsia fragments

Spent the week avoiding all the germs and bacteria at work. I think it was literally taking out my team one by one... and then they tag-teamed. And it doesn't help when the girl next to you turns her head your way to sneeze. Thankfully, I was rugged up and a couple of days, drugged up (not massively, just preventative measures) to avoid it. Grateful for that and because I want to enjoy my upcoming holiday. Was feeling a little queasy on Friday afternoon though...

Glad that I ended up cancelling my plans on Friday night with Jan so I could go home for a hot shower and an early night in. She texted me to say it was a good idea that I cancelled too so I am happy that we will reschedule!!! It was a cold, windy night.

Saturday spent it doing... nothing. Running chores, lunching with grandma and home is where the heater is! Glass of wine and a night watching movies. Until I fell asleep. haha.

Sunday brunch with Donna in Marrickville. Trying out the new places. Looking at the properties as we walked along the streets to pick up some of those famous vietnamese banh mi pork rolls. Nice, cosy places but terraces aren't my thing. Plus the pricetag is kind of unaffordable. Boo.

Weird... our conversations today made me feel a little lost, a little anxious and a little unsure of my life and where I want to be, what exactly I want to do or even what I want. Okay... I am getting older but it doesn't mean that I have the answers to everything. I live in hope that things will work out the way they should... perhaps with gentle guidance but more or less, things will take their own path and shape their own way.

I went to Tetsuya's last week. But I am not going to rave on about it. If you haven't been, it is worth considering.

Feeling a little spoiled this birthday  - wine, a diamond, a cake that I didn't have to bake!!!, flowers and well wishes. Small things that made my day. Thank you all who contributed... x

What comes to mind this week upon reflection? Food, wine and amazing friends and catch ups. Love you all.

Tuesday we went to a lovely little Thai restaurant in Surry Hills, Muum Maam for dinner with Joyce and John who was visiting from Geelong and then going back to Europe (potentially forever). Food was fresh and vibrant. Wine was awesome (thank you to my colleague @ work for recommending!) and conversation was light. Did I mention the Doves were there too? The place was a little on the noisy-side though. But intimate and relaxing...

Wednesday, Jan and I caught up over some Korean. People have been raving and raving on about the place in the alley behind Albion Hotel. It is not that good. Beautiful decor and above average service but the food is not as authentic and I don't feel that it is the best in Sydney. Its on par (perhaps a little below) those in the City and I actually think there is better in suburbia like Strathfield. Prices were on the dearer side too so it wouldn't be a "go-to" korean place. After this meal, I also don't think Korean is a favourite of mine. Definitely don't mind in every once in awhile but its sort of like Italian, I wouldn't go hunting for it...

Thursday was a blast from the past....... I left work early and eerily, I had a feeling this would happen but was picking up a couple of essentials at Target and crossed paths with Michael. So we had a short chat... its been a long time. And we've been speaking (texting/messaging) since. One of the girls who we use to hang with in the group and who still works there made the passing comment "just like old times" and I said "I wouldn't go that far" but its all water under the bridge and I'm actually really glad that things are the way they are... and I believe they can only get better. Baby steps.

Friday drinkies!!! I said I was going to be the first to be ready. HA HA no... i was last. But we went to the Ivy then had ramen at Regent's Place and watched Transformers. Underwhelming. Trains were stuffed so went to meet sis at Assembly Bar for a lift home. Zzzzzzzzzz by the time we got home it was like 1 a.m. So tired.

So I slept till like 11 on Saturday and had lunch with grandma (are you seeing how this week revolved around food???) and prepared for dinner (i.e., did absolutely nothing) in Maroubra. I didn't even lift a finger and voilla, dessert was ready! ;) It pays to be un-prepared?! Anyways, i totes suck at Mariokart. Doesn't matter which version but I did win once... with a 20? 30? second handicap. Whoop!! I will take that!!!

And Sunday... it was all about North Turramurra and the much anticipated "Rusty Chef". A competition between Jan's friends and I (the "trump card" according to Velda). 3 teams. 3 dinner parties. 3 locations. One trophy. We are apparently called "Team Beat Janice" (poor jan!!!) and we're cooking last. So Team Vio Tinto were up first with Spanish! Impressive but the paella was burnt charcoal on the bottom and the churros were a touch undone in the centre. The double proofed bread was absolutely amazing though. Tomato salad (literally tomato and oil and parsley) was confusing. The croquettes yummy but doughy. They take this competition pretty seriously. Cameras filming, interviewing the cooks and guests, etc etc... I had a lot of fun. But traffic at 10 p.m. at nighttime on King Georges Road... RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!

Its been one year and nine days since I crossed the bridge with my new work family. There have been days that have been trying. Some that have been tiring but I can safely and quite happily say that I feel like I'm belonging and making an impact. I mean why not when your CFO asks for mates rates and volume discounts with your cakes???

For the first time since working in north Sydney, I walked across the bridge towards the city and home! Because I needed the exercise and also because we are recovering from quarter end and therefore not working... much. I did two things today and that was two more than I had on the list to quote my colleague!

Our team have a lovely 2 hour lunch with a few bottles or rose at the local liquor-turn-bar and nibbles. Lots of happy chatter and echoes of not wanting to return to work.

Some of us did... and some of us went back to collect and bags and proceed to go home. Hehehhe. It makes those long hours once every quarter more bearable.

I ended up leaving around 4:30 so went for a leisurely stroll from work back to the city and Westfield. Stopped by the Uniqlo pop up store (too expensive) and Nine West where I bought a new pair of flats cause the ones I was wearing had holes through them. My evening turned out great!! Exercising the mind, body... and wallet!

Met up with Janice to hear her woes about work... time she left that poisonous place! And we tried the new Korean place in the alley near the Albion hotel/bar/place. I rate it average. Nice decor and ambiance. Small menu. Food was Sydney Korean standard: price and taste wise. Nothing to rate extraordinary.

Ended up at Chanoma for a tea before home and I didn't expect our conversation to rehash the past. And especially not for her to apologise for her actions... specifically making me take a side. It's all forgotten now anyway but sincere of her to acknowledge. So I do appreciate that.

Came home third night in a row late and needing to make cake. I get use to it but i am also looking forward to normality next week!

Have jam packed my July and trying to make up for all the missed outings in June. YOLO!!!

I had a rough start to the week. It ended up with me working till 10:30 @ night monday followed by a night of insomnia and no amount of tossing and turning could make me sleep. I guess I must be stressed, a lot more so than usual.

I'm taking a hot soak in the bathtub at the moment and its given me a chance to think about me now (today was my one year work anniversary for those wondering) and how in every office place, there are always the same old stereotypes.

The unqualified - literally and figureatively speaking - "know-it-all" who makes blanket statements (mostly wrong), are total hypocrites and change the rules only when it suits them.

I don't eat sweets but I'll take your cookies and chocolate when I'm hungry. I hate it when people ask me to get things executed for them but I will ask you to get my documents signed and filed. I never offer to go buy coffee but if someone is going do they mind getting me a large latte with 2 sugars? I'm a total indian-giver and I offer to help go but in the afternoon I will give you back your work and mine because I'm way "too busy" but I have had time for 3 cigarette breaks, spoken on the phone to my bf several times and had an hour walk. I get in before all of you in the mornings so I can leave before 5 most days (reality check: she gets in at 8 one day a week and the rest of us are usually there before her).

Yeah, it gets to me because I don't understand how these people get by in life. This is the part where I am so thankful for the support around me. Those who share my pain in finance and those outside of work who console me. You keep me sane, thank you.

It almost blew up this morning but I've learnt to kill them with kindness/ bite my tongue. It was a conversation between myself and the lawyer on my deal. All she wanted was my clarification which I was ready to give and back myself up with as I had all approvals. But no. No no no. Tuesday mornings (Btw I was first in) aren't so simple. Bitchmouth butts into our conversation saying that I had structured my deal wrong and that I needed this, this and this to fix it. Lawyer asks me to check. So I have to tell the AE (only after telling her not to call my AE... she "offered" to do that for me) that he won't get paper this morning, lawyer won't review my paper until I confirm, pricing have to reapprove deal and on top of it the other girl in my team (my buddy who I am shadowing) wants to know what's going on. Lucky, she backed me up and told me that she did overhear and bitchface's blanket comments without any knowledge on the deal were invalid and incorrect. But see how someone who thinks they know something has caused so much extra work for others? It is completely and utterly not appreciated and uncalled for. A very upsetting start to my already painfully slow morning.

And her trying to be my friend all day and sing-songing my name. NOT COOL. I pretended to be listening to music all day, had my headphones in. How she ever got a job in this team, and this company fod the matter will be a question for the ages.

I'm grateful for my corner seat but how E and I ended up with her in the middle between us... must be a test on how resilient we can be.

Perhaps its quarter end getting to me. Perhaps its the realisation that I need to fight for recognition and to prove myself in this team. Perhaps its having to "work" collaboratively in a team (finance is pretty much on your own). Perhaps its because I feel as though I can do a better job...I know its because I am more efficient and use smarter methods (which Btw is wrong in her books) but I can't believe I always end up working with idiots who think they are world class.

Q2 end is here! Long hours are here!