fuchsia fragments

By no means was it the best wedding I've ever been to - not even the best January wedding I've been to and I've been to many January weddings! In fact, the days leading up to yesterday's celebrations were filled with a bit of anxiousness and trepidation.  And not only because I was in charge of the cake and bombonieres but also because I've been disconnected with many of the people who would be at the wedding for many years.

I guess I shouldn't have felt so silly. It was fine however it kind of reminds me of where we were 6 or 7 years ago. Approach with caution. It was the first wedding where there were square tables. And it was also the first reception wedding where I went for drinks between the ceremony and reception and stayed and partied on till the end. I think I really enjoyed that.

The cake turned out amazing and tasted amazing (I could see it was still so moist) despite Mother Nature trying to sabotage the whole process the week leading up. Three full days of 35+ degrees and > 85% humidity wasn't exactly cake decorating weather. Thanks again to Chau who came in and saved the day. Would probably have jumped off a bridge without her.

Think it all went off without a hitch. The church was in a very bad location though - on Oxford St with no parking in the vicinity due to the one day cricket! I was very lucky to not get booked in a 1P spot! Could see the rangers circling and we headed back towards the car. So I am guessing I was off the hook by mere minutes. The parking at Walsh Bay in contract was much easier which was a good thing.

An enjoyable day and the rain clouds stayed in the heavens!

Right - so 11 days into the new year and I finally have somethings I want to jot down.

Firstly, my goals have changed. I've spent the past two years really solidly working on my business - slowly but steadily. I was not getting a ton of orders but there were peaks and I was really enjoying it. I like spending time on my own in the kitchen and just tuning the world out while I bake. It was great especially when you're given a task that you haven't done before and in the end, you manage to do it. Really fulfilling.

In the last year months, and even more closely, this past weekend, I've also realised that I try to do too much at the expense of other things. I've spent around 30 hours this weekend (not kidding) in the kitchen for cakes and prepping for a wedding. It's exhausting. Even now, I've taken a day off whilst it is 30 degrees outside and smoldering in the kitchen. I've hidden away to the darkness that is my bedroom, shades down and looking for some quiet comfort.

I'm moving to Tokyo in a few weeks and I am really looking forward to it. The end game to this step is a promotion and to focus on my career goals. With that comes even more time away from baking. It's not a hard equation: would I throw away my (pretty) stable career for one that's just budding, waiting by my laptop or phone for a new order to come in? Not likely. Not in this decade...

So as I was baking my nth tray of macarons in the evening last night, I sort of wondered if I'd be willing to come back to all this: giving up weekends at a time. I know I don't do it for the money for there's no money to be made really on this lower end of the scale. It's more the enjoyment and giving happiness to others. Maybe I will cut back? Or maybe I will rethink my strategy? What will I turn down? What is easy and achievable?

I look at what I wanted to do in 2015 - more cake classes and things related to baking. But even wanting to do that, I didn't find the time. It's almost like saying to those acquaintances, border line friends yes we'll catch up, let's do it. And you never do. And in all honesty, you probably never will.

2016 is easy: career goals + savings + travel + seeing my friends in other parts of the world.

Here's to a new year.

I really don't have anything to say that comes to mind...