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Commitment

2/14/2014 11:41:00 pm

commitment

kəˈmɪtm(ə)nt/

synonyms:

dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, bond,adherence, attentiveness More

synonyms:

responsibility, obligation, duty, tie, charge, liability, burden, pressure;

undertaking, task, engagement, arrangement

"he resigned because of the pressure of other commitments"

It is only when you don't have any and then all of a sudden have a few that you think about where this is all heading. Until the end of last year, I didn't have a locked in phone contract. I didn't have a full time permanent job. I didn't have my own health insurance. And all of a sudden, I have it all.

noun

1.
the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.

"the company's commitment to quality"
2.

an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.

"with so many business commitments time for recreation was limited"

I've been so free that its almost difficult to comprehend the meaning of being 'locked in', 'committed' and having an allegiance to something, somewhere. The latter probably deserves more of an explanation but along the same lines. In the end, I wasn't committed to my last job and definitely held no allegiance towards it.

I didn't think too much at the time of signing on for health insurance and I did blink once or twice at my new phone contract (I haven't been in contract for years and years) but I managed to get over it fairly competent in knowing that at the time, I had made the right decision.

But things change. If only it were easy to un-commit. I think i now understand why some people have issues with commitment and relationships...

I now have the chance of a cheaper health insurance plan. And a new phone. But how does this all fit in because I already have these things?

I didn't think 2 years was a long time until this week. But it is and to be honest, commitment or being committed for such a long period makes me feel a little anxious. I held onto my last role for 2.5 years, 60% of it was probably the most painful time in my career but I stuck it out because I knew if I came out with my postgrad and some solid time on my resume, I could make things happen. I haven't had a phone contract in 3 years. I've never had my own health insurance.

And today, upon signing my contract, I signed up for a minimum of 2 years although not explicitly stated anywhere. Because I want to give this role a go. I want to succeed and I want it to take me somewhere. Perhaps even let me take it somewhere...