fuchsia fragments

I had some spare time at work today and my mind drifted. Actually, it was right on about when I was sending the link to my breaducation course to my colleague to recommend her to husband when I was browsing through the links.

And happened to stumble upon "Career Opportunities"...

For a good few hours, I was serious about applying for a casual position at the cafe. Why not? It would be good experience, it would give me extra cash (to go towards Mr ATO) and it would hopefully teach me a thing or two about running a cafe.

Ha ha. Aren't I the dreamer today?

Just because I have a weekend here and there free, I think I can take on another job. Very immature thinking (*scolds oneself*) - especially when I have been there, done that. You know... helping Ari with his homework. Although to be fair, his mum was the one who went all AWOL which coincides with moving from a local school to a much further away private school and hence having no time and no time management. I was kind of relieved that it stopped. I got 2 of my weeknights back. Makes a big difference to hang around and sit in front of the TV, laptop, lay in bed and do nothing but think about the what-ifs and the could-haves and look at the stars maybe...

Was even thinking that I had nothing to lose by applying - which I don't. Then I opened up my resume. And well, how the heck am I going to spin it so that I have awesome customer service, can serve customers food and coffee and be an awesome kitchen-hand with a degree, a post-graduate and my last 5 roles having sat at a desk behind a computer. Yeah right. I guess I can always accentuate tarjay?!?! ;)

Brain wanders when its not working full time and I get to dream a little. I spent a lot of time today "researching" market stalls and what it would be like, how I would do it, what I would need, the time, money, etc etc.

Its one of those things I think i want to do in the new financial year (yes, I have a list and it is growing significantly).

I will also need a lot of help so would need to see who would be able to help out and what not.

But I have to admit that it does sound quite exciting! Have always loved those sorts of challenges on Masterchef and holding little stalls and things so definitely up for it. Have even sussed out a couple of potential places where I'd like to try and sell!

~ a set of 2 really nice bristle hairbrushes. boar bristles maybe?

~Paloma's Crown of Hearts earrings in SS or Tiffany 1837 circle earrings. . . (else i will get them my next trip out of oz. tax free!)

~ Burberry trench (i'll start saving for next year...)

and things that might come after...
~ an apartment (2 bdrm +)
~ a new phone that has DECENT RECEPTION (no more 3/voda)
~ USA/Canada trip (may be two...)
~ Melbourne (for a weekend)
~ London revisited???

so i think its a great time to reflect on the year gone-by. so much has happened. so much didn't and so much more could've.

for me personally, 2-0-1-0 was a transition year. wasn't the best year - can't say it was the worst. but it helped me build relationships professionally, gain new, important and some might say, powerful connections (depends on who's POV you are looking from) and made me a stronger and better person for future professional roles as well as getting to know myself.

it was a year where i learnt how to work full time - its all about routine! - and study, and make time for other things. i would have to say - i struggled doing this in the first 6 months of this year. and i felt really alone and lost contact with many during this time. slowly, some of these things changed. i learnt (thanks to Bob as well! . . . he never stopped reminding me . . . eventho it was him and his ppl making me stay back!!!) that its "just a job" and that i shouldn't have been stressing over it so much. i guess you could call me a "workaholic" but not to the extent that i know many others were working to.

and in all of this, i have seen the good and bad sides of many people. i've seen both sides of many arguments and it has been a very interesting experience. i have seen people trying to bend others' wills' for their own personal benefit and i have seen the not so nice faces of many. sadly, i would say, this comes in all industries no matter where you are.

things started to get hectic from about July onwards - not only was i studying - a lot of ongoing family issues took up much of mine, and my family's time. some of you would have known that my g'ma has been in and out of hospital for the latter half of this year.

and it's and about the eb and flow. ~


some days were good. some were bleak. some were hopeful. some were borderline.

and each time she was admitted into hospital, it was more and more severe until breaking point - December 27 - when we were going to celebrate with family and friends Christmas and the holiday period. the dreaded phone call came at about 3 p.m. G'ma had a fall at home and it was very - extremely - serious. she'd already had a right hip replacement years ago and this time, she'd fallen on her left. so she needed surgery pretty much straight away for the left side. aunty had to stay with her in emergency all night. and it was touch and go for awhile.

the past few days have been up and down. some days good, very bright and hopeful. other days, just getting by seems like a challenge. we visit her daily - for me, straight after work and any other time on the weekend. and during this time, i've learnt a few things about myself:

- i can get really emotional about it all due to the nature and the circumstances regarding this incident
- because of the above, i think i pull myself back from watching her suffer
- you can't ever change the course of fate
- looking on the bright side does make a difference

so we can take a positive stance on everything that's happened and we all believe that she has the strength, the willpower and the endurance to make a full recovery. FINGERS, TOES AND HEART CROSSED!

after all that's happened, and at the end of the day - and year - i think i've managed to get a grip on balancing everything. at least, it will help me in the new year in terms or organisation, events and routine.

so many people have asked me to keep in touch with them in the new role  - and honestly, i don't know if i will be able to keep in touch with all of them. i will sincerely try my hardest though! and i definitely will miss each and everyone one of them one way or another!!!

Most of all, i will miss dear Miss Val who has once again jetted off to HK. our time last week and short but oh so decadently sweet and well worth it. i expect her to expect a lot of parcels in 2011!!! hehehehe.

But enough lamenting - i barely scrapped the top! but enough is enough!!!

Bring on 2011!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

xoxo

so much to think aboutso much to think about
so much to think about

lol @ me going to DFO again today. biggest mistake ever. rain means more people + weekend = unbearable. parking was a bitch. maneuvering around kids and prams and people was a difficult task and i was not about to line up to try clothes on.

so in the end, got nothing. lol. no idea why i even bothered.

movie tonight with jan. at burwood. random yes.

mao's last dancer. might go and buy the book now. it was better than expected. chinglish and all. =D

opened my eyes. very appropriate in relation to my mood and thoughts. i had a pretty deep conversation with janice (where i - for once - was doing most of the talking!!). just pouring my heart out a little. hahaha. got stuffed at george's cafe. then went to bello's for tea.

... buggered. from work.
... annoyed. at spilling half my bean bag refill.
... surprised. at the amount of beans i used. and still need more.
... irritated. at ppl at work who don't have the authority telling me what to do.
... excited. for tomorrow.
... bedazzled. that i will spend almost a grand in a week. O_o

will it be worth it?

(Ray LaMontagne - Within You)
Since donna is busy DDR-ing the night away. and since i wasted a lot of bandwidth downloading season 2 of OTH in spanish or some european language (i would lol if not for the fact that i spent ages waiting for it to finish), i shall sit here and... ponder.

and wait.

im waiting for my tiff & co bracelet.
im waiting for saturday week.
im waiting to get onto another natural high.
im waiting for summer
im waiting for ppl to RSVP blue mts

in fact, i think i wait too much. i wait for summer so i can go to the gym. but whats stopping me from going now?

nothing, time permitting.

im just lazy. the mornings are cold. and ive developed a very bad habit of sleeping in and gaining winter weight.

i need to act.

now.

why can't i?

...i could get more sleep
....it would stop raining
.....there were more hours in a day
......there were more days in a week
.......my family would stop fighting
........there weren't any family demons
.........grandma goes yum cha with us tomorrow
..........i could make grandma smile again
...........we were one big happy family

free listing on ebay. more crap to sell online =D
anyhow.. it takes so much willlpower to put ur mind in study mode because it is just so easy to be distracted. and i vow everytime that i won't let anything get ahead of me but my books. wishful thining.
westfield was leaking today. the carpark was soaked.