fuchsia fragments

I'm pretty cynical these days. Correction... I've always been pretty cynical.

But please please please don't pretend.

Don't say sht like "Please let me know if there's anything I can help you with or any deals I can pick up." or "Any questions, just ask me because E is too busy".

And so when I ask you in the afternoon to pick up a deal, please don't then respond and say "That's not my priority at the moment" and that you don't have time.

And then PLEASE DON'T GO AROUND PICKING UP THE REST OF THE DEALS THAT I HAVE ALREADY PICKED UP IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THE ONE I ASKED FOR HELP ON.

So unbelievably annoying.

One more day till the weekend.

Was at work yesterday, actually had a pretty good day until the afternoon...

I read an article not too long ago and it said that happy and successful people don't hold grudges. Whilst many of you would disagree and that I completely and utterly do hold them, I think I have at least mellowed right down in many aspects of holding a grudge.

I'm not sure what was wrong with me today. But it felt a bit along the lines of the whole world is against me (well, not the world, but WORK) and it was a downhill sob story from there... Not in a good place at the moment.

I think maybe on another tangent, I knew shit was about to hit the fan.

And it has begun.

Something just didn't feel right today and I pretty much took it out on my fearless leader . . . and he probably put it down to PMS. It wasn't!!! I just felt really unhappy at work today. Something along the lines of working too much and not getting the recognition that is deserved. And that pretty much put me in a bad mindset for the rest of the day. I even told him straight out this morning, please don't talk to me because I don't want to talk to you.

He did make me laugh though:

"I can't seem to keep any girl..."

I called Bobert at lunch time for a chat. And he was like 'you sound so unhappy and not your bright bubbly self'. Yep...  I couldn't even pretend. Not that I could say much whilst at work. :-(

Anyway, the melbourne boys made it a little more bearable, especially when Dee called to say thanks for picking up an extra 2% on his placement and he's buttering me up saying he did it on purpose, it was a test etc etc and I'm speaking to him on the phone and i'm like yup yup uh huh....... *goes silent*

*reads the email that just pops up from Matt (GM in Melb)*

"Don't listen to Dee, he's just got a story for everything. Great pick up on the placement"

and Dee's like

"Are you listening to me? ..... Don't read your emails now!!!"

*Melbourne office in the background roaring with laughter*

And things get worse...

I knew something was up as soon as the two people I sit next to start whispering and having closed door conversations. (I have a knack for sussing this kind of stuff out... its like that feeling). Turns out they have decided to let go of my one other close friend in the office... because there 'just isn't enough work'.

The poor girl was supposed to come back from work on Monday after a holiday and now she has nothing to come back to... pretty upsetting. Especially when they are keeping the temp on indefinitely. Life is so unfair sometimes and its when things like this happens that makes me not want to be at work. Just because the business isn't doing as well as it was one year ago ... I just don't understand how we can spend so much of our resources on the Sales side and so little reward and recognition on back office. . . . . And I'm sceptical of what's going on, how things are going to pan out and why some people seem to be above the rules.

I don't even feel like I can trust Nick at the moment. And that is a massive issue.

it doesn't feel anything like the year before...

i have been working my ass off these last few weeks and i am getting tired!!!

we had to postpone our compliance audit halfway through the actual audit because we (they) realised that a lot of things weren't up the scratch / completed / ready for audit. i am so unsurprised. i think they weren't either.

wednesday night, caught up with madison for a couple of drinks at harts. so happy that she's doing well. :)

thursday night was our client/ contractor party. and despite all negative instigations about it - boring, best behaviour, no excessive drinking, must mingle, etc - i thought it was a lot better than our christmas party. i had a great time!!! finally got to meet a lot of our clients and contractors.

towards the end of the night, met a couple of senior managers from CBA - they are so switched on, intelligent and just full of worldly experience. and they just said some things that helped me understand who i am and where i want to be. :) :) :) really really interesting to hear what they had to say about the CBA glitch on wednesday and what they had to do, the steps to implementation and the time it takes to fix issues like these whilst at the same time understand that there were a lot of angry customers who couldn't access their money!

and so, we talked for ages.. and haha it looked like we were going to party on at the ivy afterwards too. but we didn't - stole away - and it took AGES to find a bloody cab. was after midnight when i got home.

and i was neither hungover nor tired at work on friday!!! some of the others, not so lucky! lol.

friday was a rather bitter day for the ops team. so many unfair things coming to light but hey, let's not talk about that! it was h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s to talk about the night before though!!! hehehehe :)

it was also our ops team dinner. (yay...) ez and sare and i went for a drink at 5 on-the-dot. could not be in there a minute longer with the other two. and it was good went to the brooooooklyn and had a wine. then we went to the same old spice (can you tell i'm getting bored of the place).

another girl who use to work here, right when i started came too cause she's going to be temping for us in the near year for a couple of weeks. hm. yeah. more bitterness here but hey, not my decision or problem!

anyway, ez and sare and i as the only members of the ops team who actually went to the WHOLE contractor party and STAYED, were by this stage, quite buggered. anyway, we managed and it was good (as it could be) and thank goodness it ended early!!

NOT THAT I WAS ABOUT TO GO HOME AND CRASH...

no.. i went to cronulla to amanda's 21st cause i havent seen her in ages and ages and ages and jan said she was driving so i could get a lift home. woo!

it was so good to see her with her new bf (they look so happy together) and to see her doing well post-target (everyone does well post-target!!!) and just to catch up. it was even better than avril was there cause hadn't seen her in ages either! yay!

however, i never, never, never NEVER want to go to northies again. felt so out of place. it was pure low-IQ minded bogan zone. no thanks. and the floor was so sticky cause of all the spillages i thought my shoes were going to get stuck there! lol

finally came home and crashed around midnight.

went for an eye examination this morning... everything's still good. and i didn't have the heart to correct the optom when he suggested i sit closer to the front in lectures. :) :)

just wrapped all the girls' xmas pressies. woo!! and going to make gingerbread men and ladies tomorrow. if you would like some, you better shout out!

x

(Il Divo - Time to Say Goodbye)


This isn't going to be a pretty post. so if it offends you, move along.

But it's time to say goodbye in SO many ways. not all of them good.

We were completely, utterly and unfairly ref'd out of our netball final today. so much so that we are now making a formal complaint about the ref followed by a letter and deflecting to the monday competition (and their rival company)... FOR GOOD. it wasn't pretty. and we aren't being sore losers but we had no hope when all the calls were against us and for them. . . . :(

and it is so so disappointing to go back to work after a game and know that we could have easily won it had the ref been FAIR.

I had a great morning this morning, but it all seemed to go downhill. . .

if there's anything i really dislike, it is being micro-managed. Note to all: You are not doing yourself any favours by micromanaging me. It is detrimental. It's uncalled for. It's counter-productive.

I know what i need to do. I know my deadlines. And i don't need you asking me every 5 minutes what i am doing.

OKAY??? :(

Think it's time i think about my future (funny that, it was this time last year i was thinking about it too...).

I just don't want to be a one-year wonder everywhere...

freak me dead. some things in the workplace are downright unfair. and those who THINK they are in a power of position, always ABUSE the system.

ARGH ARGH ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH

dont know what wtf ppl were on today but it was hell. total rampage and i could not wait to get out of the office sooner. omg

so annoyed. like it was so uncalled for. just freakin expecting everything to happen all at once. doesnt work that way. ffs leave me alone and let me do my job

someppl fix things. someppl make EASY situations confusing and difficult.

and its UNFAIR on EVERYONE when that ONE person makes OTHERS stay back because they put in all these THEORIES and HYPOTHETICALS into the otherwise SIMPLE equation.

i was soooo frustrated that i just had to leave at 6. My poor SFSMs were doing their heads in!!! not staying back any further than that... 3rd day in a row. just NOT on...!

i have a seeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy new phoneeeee.

its so sleek and sexy and shiny.

im in lurrrrrrve.