fuchsia fragments

somehow managed to survive work until 1. it felt like forever.
came home and still felt really bloated. so i didnt eat.
finished making my cake and veggie lasagne. from scratch of course. then i got to play mahjong yay! but i wasnt overly excited about it today. you win some you lose some.
dinner was GREAT!
super expensive wagyu beef was on the menu.
YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY.
plus an array of other food of course. but that was the highlight.
and my cranberry white choc cheesecake for dessert.
i will upload picture when i can b bothered.
guitar heroed.
i just suck at all console coordination games. lol
i still feel bloated.
tomorrow is a new month, a new season AND a new diet.
I AM GOING ON ATKINS. THE REAL DEAL not the 'modified low carb one'
bye bye carbs.

spent the day mentoring these high school students about why they should go to uni and then went eclipse SE hunting with donna. we didnt catch anything.
friday night was another party. this time a farewell. and i did a lot of things ive never done before.
it was local so i got mum to drop me off at beverly hills since the monkey had a doctor's appointment anyway. save me from having to get down there later. so i just went to jan's place first. and talked about TWILIGHT, etc with her sister who is also a fan (prolly not as big as donna =D)
anyhow we went to the german restaurant on the strip.
first time at rhinedorf
had the pork knuckle which was massive. couldnt finish it.
had 2 shots (mmm sour apple schnapps) there.
steph and clads FINALLY made it to the place after we'd been there for like 3 hours. so we went to bevo.
and had another 2 shots, a cosmo, a mojito, cranberry and vodka and corona (thats the ones that i remember) i think there were a couple others..
so it was my first time that i've lost count of my drinks
its the first time i actually felt wasted. i dont consider that i was cause i still remember everything. i just couldnt really walk properly for a bit. lol
first time we went to get kebabs after drinks (the funny thing is that i was saying to donna how i absolutely cannot eat kebabs. and i had one last night and yes, its killed me. keep reading)
after that we headed home. sooooooo tired. got home around half past 2 in the morning. and it was freezing. so i just crawled into bed. felt like shit.
got up this morning and had a shower.
first time i was mildly hungover (if you want to call it that). i had to take panadol.
first time ive ever experienced alcohol bloating.
I HAVE LITERALLY GAINED 5 KGS SINCE LAST NIGHT. AND I FEEL CONSTIPATED.
i still do and its disgusting.

so im all like spastic atm. late night hypo-ness
and im driving my mum nuts
ROFL its so fun though
found a box of lindt hidden and i was like
WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! CHOCOLATE!!!
*jumps up and down*
dunno wtf is wrong with me.
too much twilight talk with donna
ROFL
ROFL

post one off and receive a BIG one in return.
my boardgames arrived!
i bought cranium AND rapidough.
im so happy. =D
now we can have a boardgame marathon.
and finally, with some spare time on my hands. what do i do?
youtube twilight, reread twilight, look up things about twilight.
i need to s-t-o-p
especially when i know its not aimed at my age group. and its kind of embarrassing (lols at myself and donna)
so on the train today. and met one of hectors frends. who turns out to be this psychology in social groups blah blah student. and lol. hes funny and weird but interesting at the same time. too many freakin techs around everywhere. when he got off the train he was like 'take care. hi-5'. so random.
he works

"120 metres away from my store"

and i had to guess where.
and when i found out i was like
ROFL. wtf. i feel sorry for you. and hes telling me about their shitty sales and how they get paid to do nothing. and haha [he works at the treadmill dooby stall]
so i was like.. if i see u when im working, i'll come say hi.

new routine: skipping gened lecture and sitting in the quad food court with donna talking about twilight.
lol
anyhow, i bumped into *drum roll* VALERIE in the carpark today.
its like..
wat the?
wat r u doing here?
havent seen u in ages!!!
and its my turn to say
"uve lost weight" at least it looks like shes lost weight.
but it was like =D =D =D
hectic as usual. next sem is no different says she. 4 days. hmm
so im in the comm labs for the sole purpose of looking up that interview.
ROFL

working all day and then going clubbing is so tiring
but it was elenas birthday.
the place was on oxford street somewhere. lol
was okay.. not as good as the places in the cross and we didnt have that many of the usual crowd there so it was a bit boring. hence why im home so early.
we were gonna stop by pancakes but just couldnt b bothered. and tired.
boston iced teas are shit. stupid bartender.
i need to sleep.

since the same time this morning, i have not really moved from the computer and churned out page after page for the stupid 3121 assignment.
and eventho i had most of the information (huge thanks to hector who helped me fix up the crap parts of a certain other group member) it took forever to get it into report format.
but im so proud to say that it looks really good and professional now.
and we made the page limit!! exactly 25 pages!
and i LOVE my table of contents.
i say my because i think the bulk of this assignment was done by me (and hector). but that was what i expected from the beginning. you simply cannot trust certain people. and those certain people are those in my group. =X i mean, one was pretty good and reliable for info but just for handing it in and sht.. i'd rather be the one to do it. and one member was completely useless anyhow.
tomorrow is one page strategy statement and lots and lots and lots of proofreading and grammar correcting.
sounds F-U-N...

this kid was riding one of our toddler bikes that was on display.
and marees like into the pa
EDY TO THE FRONT OF THE STORE. SECURITY TO THE FRONT OF THE STORE.
and edy has his sleeves rolled up and ready (literally) to 'tackle the kid down'
HAHAHAHA
good times.

worked for like a couple of hours and finished most of my part for the 3121 assignment. now i just have to put it together.
which will be done..
tomorrow. =]
plus the introduction, conclusion and methodology.
justins prolly on a plane to hk now. lucky =[
hes gonna bring me back all these goodies
provided that "they have winnie the pooh on it"
LOL he dares.
might head home now.
out

im stressing so much about so many things because i can't let go of it even though some of it is beyond my control. e.g. gened group assignment. its like i need closure.
didnt go to 3121 lecture but instead did some really productive work in the commlabs. 2 hours worth of assignment writing turns into quite a substantial bit of work. more than i couldve done during the lecture.
the tutorial was a waste of time but spent some more time in lab after to do even more until i really had to leave for work. but i didn't really want to.
we were in kidswear for stocktake and the backdock. haha unloading and scanning trolleys and cages is even worse than tcf. lol
we had to be shush shush tonight. paul like really really laid down the rules. no talking. zilch. apparently there were heaps of errors last night (oh wells i wasn't there).
i dont think its fair to give three substantial additional readings one night before a journal submission is due. what about those who go to uni all day wednesday or have work committments? wat a load of bull. =(

i got up at 6 am for stocktake. walked out in the bitter cold and semi darkness. stupid westfield hadn't opened their doors yet so i had to walk up the carpark to get to the lifts and go down that way. was barely awake while all this happened.
stocktaked until 12:30. clads called in sick (pfft plantation.. pfft said she wasnt going out after last nights stocktake.. pfft.. liar.. =P lol) so i had to check all by myself. and it was different cause it was mostly register people counting this morning. only had elena and matt from the floor with me. im just so important that i got to print off reports and tick (ie, check) their counting. lol. its so tedious and boring.
we did the worst parts today too.
opened a draw on the bottom of cards and wraps and it was filled with rat shit. no joke. i was so grossed out. had shivers down my spine for a while. ewww
registers and confec were also a bitch. especially when you have to scan like a million tic tac boxes and chupachups.
then we moved to stationery, books and confec at the back. which was a bit better but still bad. hahaha but stocktake it bad in general.
i came home and crashed.. was supposed to go straight to stephs but decided to wait for jan and chu. got a lift =)
took a nap. read a paper. freakin stressed more about 3121. stupid guy was like 'yeah sure i'll email it to you tonight'. I STILL HAVENT GOTTEN IT. and i desperately need it by tomorrow otherwise i wont have time to get it altogether. im getting really irritated about it cause i have tons to do this week as well.
stephs party was great fun. she had a cocktail machine.. yummy cosmos and mango cocktails. like slurpees through the freezing cold. we were sitting outside with this huge woodfire. so cosy.
me and steve decided to go for a coles run at ramsgate to grab some marshmallows and skewers and sparklers. so fun =D
and then martin and chu went for a maccas/kfc run. hahaha yummmmmmy
not that steph didnt feed us.. we just got there pretty late and decided to get more food. her cake was super cool. gelato cake. im gonna try make one one day... when i get the opportunity and the time and money of course.

just-inny shouted yum cha today. WOOOOOOT. i had 45 minutes to order as much as i could. but luck is always on his side.. the food was slow to our table. and monkey had to leave early as well so didnt exactly make the most of it. oh wells. better than last time. hahaha and i was pretty full.
2 new girls with me today.. so muriell was like.. im putting u in charge of them. so i was fully stressed cause it was a massive sale as well. like.. it wasn't a normal saturday. no regulars =(
anyhow, stocktake afterwards was fun. lol.
found out that like 5 of the boys went to marist. i was like.. r u serious? and they were like.. wat? whered u go. and im like
*grins* st georgian
and theyre like moaning. 'u have got to be kidding...' and 'our friendship ends here.' ROFL =D
and i always get rorted. i was a checker for TCF AGAIN. T-C-F!!!!! as in count nail polishes and lip glosses. nooo!!
steve and clads and i were checking. and paying out all the noob stocktakers.. cause there were so many errors. haha and a few of us ended up with foundation all over our pants. including me. =(
decided to skip lukes 21st... lauras sick again. and im not about the rock up by myself.. plus im tired. have heaps of work. its stephs bday party tomorrow. and id rather go to hers.

thats my new fav song for the moment.
i even ripped it and made it my ringtone.
spent the day sitting at my desk, absorbing the sunlight, writing about OHS hazards and chemical safety for my group assignment.
its quite.. relaxing. i havent been home to enjoy the sunlight all week so today was like a breather where i could catch up on some things.
next week will be hectic cause most of my spare hours will (again) be spent at work.. but we're reaching the end. almost exam time again.
but i havent stopped this semester. assessments have been constant and dont stop literally until the end of week 12. i am a little anxious about waiting for replies to group assignments. i dont like to have the burden of having to chase people up without sounding pushy eventhough they did have a deadline. =X
sitting on ur bed in the sun reading is so comforting

this week has flown by so quickly and im not too sure why it has. its been a big week and thats really all i can say...
ive spent big on books. about vampires nonetheless and i can't help but feel that im a little too old for it. but its so intriguing. i dont even know what compelled me to stop by the library on tuesday. but i did. and i borrowed a stephanie meyer book. and i couldnt put it down. so i went and bought the books at the bookshop. and ive been reading since. inbetween working.
work was interesting today. another new girl. dont know her enough to comment yet but she a little more talkative than the other one. and shes a 1st yr uni student. stocktaking on the weekend.
so had to do the stocktake quiz. and lol. muriell. so funny.
me to nelson: we dont have any good boardgames!
nelson: wat r u looking for?
me: cranium?
him: is that some kind of uni smartass game?
ROFL
and apparently we sold rapidough. damn!

Reminders: put donnas bday photos on usb, chase up people about 3121 assignment
i actually wrote this during our legt lecture. theres 7 of us here in this lil corner and among us we have:
- 2 bags of starburst
- 1 bag of malteasers
- 1 bag of orange choc chip cookies
- my bottle of mineral water
that's what we need to survive these night lectures. its become a ritual that we stock up on sugar and all the goodness in junk and carbs. lol
i didnt go to my gened lecture and instead sat in Qlounge with d+m+s+j =D
had to come to uni before 11 to hand in assignment. the drop off boxes are just next to the stairs.. and i couldnt get past the door cause people were lining up to hand in their assignments??? but i realised that those ppl were handing in 1711 and 2721. lol.
my presentation. i was really nervous for some reason. a bit because i went last. and i spoke really fast. going last was good and bad.. cause the guy before me was pretty shit. =]
but phew.. i can take a short breather. and then its group assignments and journals.

i think its really more me living in my own misery that i am slightly disconnected from the rest of the things going on around me. but nonetheless, i do think today was quite an impromptu, unplanned day.
went to work this morning half expecting me to ask me to stay back (thankfully they didn't) and my morning went by immensely slow.
i came home and a rare sight it is.
kitchen's in an uproar (there was my hint that something big was happening tonight)
dad was banging in the spare room upstairs putting my sister's old single bed there to make it a twin single bedroom. with a desk and lamp. its also where our router and ports are. so he freakin disconnected me from the net for a good couple of hours. it's so inconvenient. i can't compulsively obsessively read the news and check my email. no srly, i wanted to cnp some parts of the corporations act for my legt.
ive spent almost all my spare time this weekend working on legt.
our guests arrived early today. i was still pretty much cooped up in my room until andrew literally came knocking on my door.
he brought his xbox and
GTA IV
GTA IV
GTA IV
GTA IV
brightened up my day a little. after all the recent happenings, i really didn't want to make some huge commotion. i managed to dodge the limelight all night. kept quiet and stayed low and in the backdrop. it worked at least.
so about Grand theft auto IV
well, its in 3d. i still suck at driving. its hard to control. so we just took turns causing as much trouble as possible. i managed to literally fly through the car window i was driving and landed over the water onto the dock... i didnt know it was me until they were cracking up and going wtf did u just do. HAHA yep.. i suck.
tonight's atmosphere was rather surprisingly serene (and i reiterate: after the news we received on friday)
gelatissimo mini cones are adoringly cute and yummy but outrageously priced.
stupid monkey took my choccy one and shoved it up my nose.. or tried to. at least the others got a good laugh. didnt even see it coming.. like.. WTF

i went to oatley pub last night!!! ive never been there.. and haha. its in the middle of nowhere. its too full of shire people on a friday night. and it was like a massive tarjay reunion - of the resigned and current. LOL drinks are cheap though. even a couple of our managers were there.
so yeah.. spent my night there. i wasn't planning on going out considering the events of yesterday. legal assignment. family tragedy. yadda yadda.
im glad i did though. but nads was upset we didnt go to her event at the cross so we have to make it up to her soon. oops.
anyhow, chu was driving and so he was dropping me off and jan was still there obviously and we were just talking in his car outside my house. and LOL. i am the centre of all information. i know everything.. telling them so much stuff they had no idea about. so funny. they were like 'how tf do u know all this??' and im like 'hehe.. right place, right time? *innocent smile*'
asked to stay back at work. had to say no because of a stupid group meeting for my gened.
which turned out to be ok.. some coincidences.
i know jeff > jeff knows other girl
all of us went to a selective school
this guy was from tech in my coz's yr
so talking about people we knew and stuff.
anyhow. more legal awaits

martin came in with sam
laura came in a stayed for a good hour =D =D
looks like we might end up going local tomorrow night. lol
2 new girls and another on the rosters.
seeing some improvement in one.
and cupcake icon!!
awesomeness from donna

this weekend was supposed to be a big big target going out weekend but everyones pulling out last min with other stuff going on =( =( =(
so dunno if we're still going anymore. maybe just one day instead of both.
hope it still turns out well.
i submitted my assignment super duper early today.. feels unusual.
so i was in the lunch room before i started work today. and a couple of the part timers were having lunch and what not. and we just started talking about random crap. bit of light banter between me and robbie. lol. and anyway, somehow started talking about chuey. and ROFLROFLROFL. i was laughing and crying cause they were saying all this stuff that wasn't quite accurate (like stella who thought he was going out with someone else) and how his gf must not work at target, etc. and im sitting there just laughing my ass off cause im frends with like the two of them. and im not allowed to say anything. and robbie and helen are looking at me like 'aww.. poor baby' cause they know too. and yeah. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNY!
and he was starting at 1:30 too so as soon as he got to reception stella and helen were like 'MICHAEL!!!! COME HERE!!!' but he was hiding in the locker room. hahahahaha

pretty normal day up until i bumped into donna a second time today and our legt lecture went on forever.. like he took up pretty much all of 3 hours. and hes never done that before. so soooo tired and unconcentrated we were by the end.
and rach was at uni so got to take her home. YAY
someone to talk to! it was more like rant or vent
lols
so i didnt get home until like.. 9:45. and i decided what the heck, i will stop for petrol as well.
so i did.

all day sunday!!
just when i needed it most
and working with mans!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
we work so well together.
relayed sleepwear and everything looks pretty squeaky clean
i hate family things when im miserable.
im miserable now if u cant tell.
i want a hug.
my lips cracked. it hurts.

i cried and i cried tonight.
until my eyes were puffy and red
and my jaw ached
i resent the world
i resent the cold
i resent cheap chinese made beds that dont come with proper instructions and missing parts
i resent time
but in the end there's only me.
alone.

i really suck at online exams.
i had the day to myself and i had so much time i literally did not know what to do with it. i sound abnormal. but snuggling under the covers was soo good.
i had people who are like
yeah, you can choose whatever u want.
and then they go: this one? no i think that would be better.
and proceed to coerce you to pick the one that they really want.
and then have the guts to go
'oh but YOU picked that. not me.'
shove it up ur ass. bitch.