fuchsia fragments

often one doesnt realise the many things she takes for granted until it is taken away from you. its bad timing, its selfishness on other's behalfs, its a pain in the ass. bandwidth's been restricted so i need to wait until midnight until i can get back online and upload and submit and get this assignment out of my head, my mind and my system.i was walking to work today and not so usual, i was deep in thought. and there are so many things i want to do, change. whatever.i went to westfield intent on some shopping. and ive come to realise that i can no longer walk around the shopping centre as a happy little shopper. the shops just aren't up to scratch, i know and bump into too many people and its just sad really. takes away my motivation to shop.. so i think that the next time i'd like to go for a serious shopping expedition, it would have to be somewhere where im not so familiar with. per say, eastgardens or something. but then ive always wanted to go but ive just never been bothered. and no matter how hard i look, i can't seem to find the things i want. am i becoming too picky? am i craving for the nonexistant? i tried on jeans today.. they were too stretchy. this sweater was too long, vest too short. why am i like this now? or have i always been like this? am i unconsciously trying to reinvent my wardrobe? there is one thing i want though. plain and simple: pair of black pants exactly like the pair i have now. and a fleecy jumper. (and the list could go on)so i was having to semi heart to heart with mum. my lil coz from hks coming in august.. exciting =D it means i get to be a tour guide and go whereever they go. =) and i was sort of ranting about my "group" assignment, and how i had no motivation to shop and how i want to shop. maybe im just overwhelmed by the amount of stuff in shops? ie, because of all the different but not wat im looking for clothing, im unmotivated to browse. and now that i have experienced the retail industry from both perspectives, i think its quite true to say that sale assistants can actually put you off shopping. and time and time again i wonder how people are able to shop at stores like mine. its messy and its crowded. sure, i can understand that we have lots and lots of variety, colours and sizes.. but if i were them, i'd walk out without turning back.i was staring out of my room today and my sis' room is opposite and it got me thinking about how different we were. everything in my rooom has a place. its almost always in that place. if i want something, i will find it. its neat, its tidy and its CLEAN. but monkey's room.. everything is all over the floor, her clothes arent hung, she has cups and plates from i dont know how many days ago, shes got unwashed clothes on the floor, her bed it always unmade and she never opens her window for fresh air. but if she wanted to find something, she would be able to too. but why is it that shes so messy? why am i such a neat freak? why does it even matter to me? am i thinking too much again?

i wrote draft after draft and each time i asked for it to be proofread and reviewed. i got ONE reply and from the weakest link. although im grateful (shouldnt it be the other way around?) for the (rather useless) feedback..
it seems a miracle that instant disgusting coffee still works. had one at work cause i got bored along with v8 juice to get my fruits n vegs. and i was so perky for the rest of the night.. kept churning out trolleys and trolleys and putting stock out and filling. not once did i think about how slow time was going =)
and storewide ads are a biatch. some good deals though i guess.
dad and i had yet another talk about who should bear the main costs of buying a laptop. hahaha

in favour of wynnie (ie, dad
pays)
- i don't need it as much as he wants it
- dad wants to take it overseas
- dad wants to connect laptop to tv output to watch
d/led stuff straight from drives

in favour of dad:
- wynnie still wants it (-_-")

i checked my email periodically today in vain hope that at least someone from my group would reply. but noooooo nothing. zilch. so i spent the majority of my day again in front of my computer over what is supposed to be a group assignment. and i'm pretty damn sure than 1900/2000 of those words were strung by me and me alone. not very happy but that's what i expected.
anyhow, this morning i was feeling a bit sick so i just sat around.. but then i started checking my email and got pissed off at the fact that no one replied to any of my emails.. so i went to the gym to let off my steam.. i wasn't planning to but i ended up there.. i tend to end up at the aquatic centre a lot these days with badminton on top of it all.
i watched, skimmed through rather, a few more episodes of heart of greed. it gets kinda boring in the middle.. nothing new really happens.. so i skipped most of it.. only watched the funny and really sad bits.
fuel prices are increasing again.. i didnt even get a full tank today and it cost 40 bucks. i can usually get a full tank with 40 bucks! the line wasn't long when i went though which was a relief and a surprise.
feel like i have heaps on my mind.. but i dont think i do. its just the same things over and over. i think i want to do a bit of one person shopping.. but i never get the time nor have the motivation anymore. if im not working, im at uni and if im not at uni i have things like group assignments to complete. so yes, im in one of those moods where i'd like a day to myself. go for a long drive somewhere or something. (haha im so funny).
i've actually realised that the midnight shifts are actually really tiring on my mind.. eventhough theortically, i have the morning to do work and stuff.. its just not the same as when you have the 'whole day'.. sort of lose concentration around 3 and cant pick up momentum again.
its sort of hard to believe that there are two weeks (4 days for me) of uni left.. i can feel that its the end of the semester but because of everything around me, im not actually prepared for the study break yet. =S
i dont even know if my manager's remembered that ive taken a month off. and im not about to remind her. i think i should sleep a little earlier tonight...

some people just dont give a fuckin rats ass about GROUP assignments. i swear ive sent three emails today and i get no fuckin reply. yeah, great group work. and here i was 2000 word report. wat am i doing? oh of course, sitting at my computer from 9 in the morning until 5 fuckin slaving.. doing all the research and putting it altogether BY MYSELF. IM REALLY PISSED OFF AT THE MOMENT.
i also have to go to work and i have other stuff. fucking hell. yes im pissed off.

caught the train today.. packed a nd everything else that comes along with it.
went to watch pirates with cherry and donna @ the ritz. cheap tickets and standard sized cinema (like GU Hurstville) so pretty good. plus it wasnt packed so was even better. seats were kind of too squishy though. and the movie, i liked it. thought it tied up the ends pretty well although some parts were left untold. and the musics really good too. hahaha so yes, i enjoyed it =)
im off to play badminton next

i think i misplace my knife. =S oops
anyhow, so for our break, we went to coles. hahaha and we got soup and bread and snakes and oh yeah let's not forget the 2 litres of choc milk we bought too.
luke had about 70% of it and made jan and i finish the rest.. i think im gonna be lactose intolerant for a while. so sick afterwards. hahahahahaha it was kind of fun though.

130 grams
92mm by 57mm by 20mm
huge 3 inch LCD
4 gb SD
overall, HOT! =D

i went by the PO 3 times today and all three times it was temp closed.. some fire and bullet holes a couple of shops away.. dirty dealings.
the refit is really boring. cant wait for my time off.
kind of tired but kind of on a sugar (?) high? or caffeine..

lazing around day.. after work ie. which reminds me.. some woman had a fake baby in her stroller which she was using to steal.
i made mochi-s today. and picked up old habit of 'boiling videos' (bow dai).. like watching marathon episodes of tvb series.. heart of greed. not bad at all. kind of asianified day now that i look back. haha o_O

“Stress can actually cause weight gain, particularly around the tummy.”

Just wat i wanted to hear.

too unmotivated to blog
shit happens all the bloody time. some really unreasonable things occured today. so we tuned out...

okay so traffic was pretty congested and roads were wet and what not but i got the best parking spot today =D i geuss its sort of a trade off.
anyway, um.. micro presentation.. kind of painful but i guess we did ok. the part i did was apparently v good so im happy about that but overall not impressed by some of the work of the others.. ie, someppl just do not pull their weight and then have the indecency to criticise us who did. tsk tsk
sort of debating what subjects i want to take next sem. hmmmmm i do have breaks this time around though. haha but seems like i can still hold on to the 2 days a week. i aimed for three but it looks like it will be unnecessary. and its not overly packed or anything either.. just longer days.

its not often that i get to finish EARLIER than i was rostered. tonight was one of those nights. thank goodness.. i am in dire dire need of sleep.
um.. our store.. it doesnt look like much of a store anymore. heaps of contracters everywhere and stuff. um.. yeah so we like.. didnt really do that much..
and one of the trucks tipped over at the backdock. no joke.. i would post a pic but my phone sort of died..we were playing too mcuh music from it. oops.
i need a 'me' day. *sigh* maybe tomorrow.. IF i dont get called to work.

quick note: do NOT go into our store now. its like in the process of being torn down.. looks like its been ravished from all sides. and gawd.. if we manage to get out of this uninjured, we wouldve done well. seriously.. had a pretty bad start already. stocks been moved everywhere.. and ive go a fresh bunch of bruises all over my arms and legs. thank you dodgy fittings.
there is a silver lining at the end... so they say. 2 more weeks of imminent hell to come plus more.

im so bummered after two full days of work.
it was a lot quieter today than yesterday so managed to keep up the pace. i guess in some ways, that was good. uneventful.
spent my hour off reading magazines and talking to the girls. haha and that was after i walked around the centre.. i wanted to spend some money but no one has a long sleeved hoodie that i like! heaps of people were carrying around flowers.. i wonder who for... haha
happy mother's day mummy.

its only mother's day and people are shopping like its the end of the world. like.. it was 5 and they wouldnt leave the store. literally.. at 5 it was still packed as though it were three.
anyhow, so i was running around all day in mens and shoes and kids and did registers too.
what was totally and just unbelievable was that this guy bought a 500 dollar lcd tv.. took it home.. and brought it back and said 'u sold me an empty tv box.. is this some kind of joke?' and obviously, he'd done a perfect switch on the product.. so it was like.. wtf? and cause he had the receipt and all this shit, we had to give him an exchange. and imo, its the same as having it stolen.
i went home for lunch break.. i just couldnt take the crowds at the centre.. so i watched them play a bit of mahjong and ate an apple. hahaha it was relaxing.
got back.. and as soon as i got back on the floor, was overwhelming. i was in babies and i heard a smash in nursery.. and so i go to check it and. and fuck man.. this chick smashed a safered cd against the pillar in an attempt to steal the cd. obviously didnt succeed and had to tell manager. so fuckin stupid.
busy busy..
we had a hot pot family gathering. haha so us youngems were like.. lets just dump all the food in and wait for it to cook.. and first in first serve! after 3 rounds of that we were all full.. cept the monkey.. she just kept on going and going..
and wii is so fun.. i got to kick some ass =D andrew got cramps from pulling too much carpet. lols crazy. and i can play the violin. HAHAHA

i left the house late today thinking.. yeah its friday.. it'll be good. and how right was i.. i left at like almost 10 to 8 and i got to uni and found parking by 8:30. absolutely great. =)
altho the day went by kind of slowly, and at other times rather quickly.. i still felt rather unproductive..
ended up going to the roundhouse with donna and cherry and felicia? for lunch.. and i had to trek it all the way back up campus cause i parked up thinking.. group meeting (which was cancelled) would be upper campus. oh wells.. 'think of it as exercise'. haha
arvo.. went shopping for tomorrows faming thing.. we're hotpotting! and so are heaps of other ppl apparently cause heaps of ppl were buying the same things. hahaha
and i made some goodies.. and left to play badminton halfway.. we progressively got better.. and better. =) =D and came home to decorate my pieces of pastry.
and i've said goodbye to my beaters.. or beater. i've thrown one away.. RIP u piece of shiat. lols.

registers for like 3 hours today.. i got to be at tcf. =) and then mens and shoes... as usual. by the end almost all of us were crawling around picking up shoes. so painful.
i get to play badminton tomorrow =D
and i took a month off work.
and i cant remember if i signed off or not =S
really really tired n ready for bed but cant sleep yet.

i felt rather unproductive at uni today. i was just so out of it. and it only got worse. plus there were some really crazy drivers on the roads today.
and then nightfill felt like it was going on and on and on and on and on. mans and i were like.. omg.. its ONLY 7. 2 whole hours to go.. and we had the really bad stuff to work. cages of accessories and socks and mittens and packets of crap. and the dock really stank.. like gone off raw meat/fish and omg.. we were gonna puke.
and hahahaha boys who will be boys. they have the most inappropriate conversations. we were literally shaking our heads and could not believe that they were talking about certain topics and people.... like.. have u guys got no shame???

i went back to school today.. its changed quite a bit. anyhow, obviously the reason wouldnt be a good one. the monkey got herself bashed up during lunch and was almost knocked out over a game of "friendly" oztag with some yr 9s. apparently.
hahahahahaha.. well her and this year 9 chicka knocked into each other somehow and her jaw was all swollen and she couldnt close her mouth and yeah.. she was in pain i guess. and the poor office lady (i dont think i know her name) was like she should go see a doctor and hahahahahahha yeah.. so i had to pick her up.
i didnt bump into any teachers i knew or anything (didnt expect to since it was period 7) but felt kinda disappointed that i couldnt visit n say hi and that i had to go back to school to get monkey from sick bay. shes been home from sick bay about 7 times already this year i'd reckon. thats 7 more times than me since ive never been to sick bay...

it gets worse and worse everytime at these outlet centres.. like i didnt even spend 50 bucks.. got a nice bangle and an esprit jacket and a bracelet. jeans werent that nice and either the other stuff was still expensive or not what i was looking for.. pretty much a let down in general...
joyce doesnt like yellowcard. haha
i think i might call it an early night... zzzz

so i was going from uni to pick mum up. and HAHAHAHA OMG there was this can trying to reverse park right.. and it HIT the PARKED car.. like it literally reversed and smashed into this poor guys ute. ok i shouldnt be laughing but it was just really funny.
went to godbrothers for dinner.. and started drinking.. =D
mum went to play mahjong instead of celebrating with me =( =( so i trashed the kitchen for 4 hours whilst watching my beloved dragons WIN their game =).. oh and the rabbitohs/broncos game.
im rather tired now.. i should go clean up my mess..
oh yeah.. and i turned down 12 hours of work.. man i feel important. hahaha x_x

this guy had a go at me for no fuckin reason. like.. its not my fault that things are out of place. freakin hell and he kept arguing about it.. im like.. wtf. do u think i live here? and then he's like someone should have their ass kicked for such a crap department and how everytime he comes up here its crap. i seriously wanted to tell him to fuck off n dont come n shop here if hes so unsatisfied. geez
went to roselands for no good reason.. wasnt even that interested in shopping. i was half looking for present ideas but wasnt really focussed.. i got a cake tin and cookie cutters though.

i finally watched 300 in the comfort of my own home. and IT WAS SOOOOOOOO GOOD. like some parts they shouldve changed but overall, its good. yeah, so they stuffed the storyline up but it was still good. and it wasnt even that bloody or horrific. i would actually consider going to watch it at the movies again.
i also watched curse of the golden flower.. which was um.. good movie overall, rather predictable and kind of boring towards the end. of course, for a war movie, 300 was better. the chinese and their 'special effects' just dont make it as good.. like.. u need real swords and shields and hot bodies (HAHAHA jk).
i got up today and my clock said 9. and i was like OH SHIT i have to be at uni by 10.. and no one else was home.. so i ended up being like half an hour late.. and bumped into gracie on the bus. and so we were like oh hey! r u late too? do u reckon the others will kill us? since it was a group meeting.. a rather pointless one at that. whatever..
more ebay goodies in the mail. =D